TYRANNY OF LOVERS

By Collins Ogola

@gentlenique

TYRANNY OF LOVERS

He knew he had to do it. Dark tan in colour, rectangular and strong in stature – this is Hezekiah’s bed. It is neatly spread and the mattress is still in good health. You may wonder why he has to replace his bed. It is not rickety, weak or its nuts falling. But his mind was made up. There was no convincing him otherwise. It is the shoe wearer who knows where it pinches, so they say.

Stout, dark in complexion and a bit top-heavy in built. This is Hezekiah for you. He has been in this town for the past ten years. He now considered himself part of the community. They also embraced him as their own. He had a sweet tongue and trickery of a hare. He epitomizes the phrase: I came, I saw, I conquered. He had circled around the world of ladies and he knew there was no corner left to explore anymore.

Hezekiah is not young anymore. He is in his middle thirties. He has kissed many frogs and now he thinks he has found his princesses. He says, “This bed has known many visitors than that of lodging.” “I have lost count of them but I am sure they are more than sixty-seven,” he adds his face lightening up. He seems proud of his all conquering escapades while at the same time you can feel a tinge of regret in his voice.  His bed has gone through hell and back, literary speaking. It had seen different shapes and curves. Some out rightly out of imagination others just there.

An idle mind is a devil’s workshop. Hezekiah succinctly remembers how he started his chain philandering. He had no job and so he had lots of time to woo any girl around. He had mastered his art and perfected it with each passing day. He made it his job, a form of self-employment but his had no profit attached to it. “I used to dress smartly and head for town and pick on any girl I met. I would promise them my love and we would head to my house,” he narrates. It is common knowledge that ladies love men who are smartly dressed as they are close to financial stability that ladies so much crave in their men. He knew he would fool them with it so he made sure he was smart every time he stepped out of his house.

Men who can cook are like a magnet to women but those who can cook chapatti are like rubies to ladies. Hezekiah would prepare chapatti for the ladies. This was his master plan. He knew no lady would resist him after all. “I would cook them chapatti and serve them like queens. Many men do not do this to their ladies and so they were taken by surprise and you could feel their hearts melting,” he says pointing at his tools of work. “My pan, roller and ingredients have been my partners in crime,” he says while laughing.

He would go ahead and draw out his last card. He had mastered his game like a chess player. “I would open the window and allow some breeze to come in. The lady would feel cold and sleepy. She would cling on me for warmth. The rest would be history,” he points out. He would not fail to satisfy his earthly desires with this mastered routine.

If his bed could talk then it would write a novel of a thousand pages. It knew all his secrets. Maybe this is the reason why he is determined to do away with his past and start a fresh life. His bed represented his past and for a fresh life, it had to go. “This bed has known more than sixty-seven ladies. There comes a time when you say enough is enough and I think the time is now,” Hezekiah says with seriousness I have not seen before. Truly, there was no turning back for this young man. He had satisfied the insatiable and now he wanted to settle down for life.

Hezekiah has now found the lady who makes his heart beat. He did not initiate her through his usual rituals as he knew she was the one. “I am sure I have found my missing rib,” he says with conviction. This is uncharacteristic of Hezekiah. “I am over this game of numbers. I want to settle down and be called somebody’s father,” he adds. He had moved away from wanting to sleep with any Tom, Dick and Harry. One who finds a wife finds happiness and now Hezekiah seemed such.

When you love somebody so much you can do anything for them. “I would not want my wife to be to lie on this bed and that is why I am changing it,” remarks Hezekiah. Love conquers and it is clearly evident that Hezekiah has been conquered.