A PASTOR'S GUIDE TO A GOOD WIFE

A PASTOR’S GUIDE TO A GOOD WIFE

My pastor last Saturday delivered a powerful sermon. It was a sermonette to be precise. It was as short as a mini skirt yet long enough to cover the essential details. He was talking about relationships and marriage at large. Rather than lead by example, he was the example. He gave us his story while in university in the form of this anecdote.

“While at the university, I was doing a programme known as work-study. It involves working for the school while studying. I was cleaning toilet and attending to school farm. I was weather beaten and not smartly dressed. I was called toilet man. I never had a girlfriend as no girl would date a toilet cleaner. After completing my university, I joined Karura where one day I met a lady who gave me a chance. After a while I had turned around my life and was now wearing suits. Some other girls who avoided me like a plague while in the university came streaming back. My head was turned a bit but when I examined myself I said I belong to the one who loved me when I was nobody. The girl is now my wife,” he said cutting a long story short.

After this heart retching story, he gave us an example from the Bible of the parameters to follow when choosing a wife. The story was of Isaac. When Isaac was of age Abraham set out to search for a bride who matched his son. He put down four markers to consider before settling on a wife for his son.

First was character. The mental and moral qualities distinctive to an individual and can be used in the identification of the person is what we call character. A lady has to be of good character to be made a wife. If she is the one who people sigh when describing then she is not fit to be one. The one you are told to marry at your own risk or ‘just marry her maybe you can change her.’ She has to be of irreproachable and unquestionable morals. The one men fear to approach because they know she is not a matatu to be boarded at will. She must respect her body as it is a temple of the Lord and must also respect her husband.

Personality was his second parameter. Personality has to deal with individual differences among people in behavior patterns, cognition and emotion. Is her personality rubbing people off or contagious? A woman has to be of admirable personality one that people want to model their children after. She has to be determined, hardworking and witty.  She has to be able to build her home and elevate it higher among the many. She must possess a big heart to welcome any visitor as this is a blessing.

Third was family background. When Rebecca brought water to Isaac he was pleased but he wanted to know more. He asked her whose daughter she was. When she said she was the daughter of Bethuel, Isaac bowed low and praised the Lord. Bethuel was known all over for his welcoming heart and strictness. A lady’s background matters a lot. She must be from a family that is known for their good deeds not bad ones lest you marry a woman who will turn you into a thief, witch or night runner.

Religious faith came in fourth. A woman should profess the same religion as her man. It matters a lot as there are circumstances where religion will bring differences. You should all either be Christians or Muslims. She must also be ready to follow you in case of one being a protestant and the other a catholic.

These were the guiding principles that led Isaac to Rebecca. She was from a far away land. We have not seen Abraham mentioning factors like tribe, financial stability, good looks and the other infatuations that this new generation is occupied with.

He ended the sermon by urging all men and women to love their partners in better and bad times. To the youths he urged them to use the four above guidelines and they will never go wrong.