SAVING VAN GAAL

A HELPING HAND

Welcome to English Premier League. The only league where there is no clear favourite. No big team syndrome as in other major leagues in Europe.

Louis Van Gaal has found the going unwelcoming and more is still to come.  The problem with Van Hell is that he is trying to ride a donkey expecting the same finesse of a horse. Why feed a donkey on horse food while there is ready grass?

The tempo and intensity of EPL does not allow for three man defense. But if you make the mistake, make sure that your defenders are highly mobile and cultured in the ways of the league. Any kind of lapse in concentration will be punished accordingly. MK Dons is just the beginning, wait until you meet the contenders.

We all know that Jonny Evans and Phil Jones are not one of the most mobile defenders in the league. Even if Vidic, Rio and Evra were still available they would not change much. They had lost their agility and would seriously suffer against fast forwards. EPL is about power and pace and there is no time for total football.

Manchester United had a philosophy that made them reign terror on opponents. When Fergie found out that his secret was now in public domain, he had to take flight. He did not want to be forced out in ignominy. Moyes entered the fray, got fried and left before we could say abracadabra. It was not going to work that easily. Every system needs players to execute if not patience is the name of the game. That is only present in Arsenal and not in other clubs with trigger happy owners.

With the signing of Di Maria and Rojo the team should be complete and fighting for honours. Mr Louis Van Hell should please revert to 4-4-2 and start working his preferred system with a winning team first. Let me give you a helping hand. De Gea, Phil Jones, Johhny Evans, Marco Rojo and Shaw; Fletcher, Carrick, Di Maria and Valencia; Persie and Rooney. Then with a solid defence you can now introduce Herrera to partner Carrick and Mata for Valencia as the game progresses.

You have a good squad with depth in the bench and you should not complain of anything. Get your act together and swallow the humble pie that 3-5-2 is not suited to the premier league. Just ask Harry Rednapp against Tottenham.

EPL DISSECTED

WHO STANDS A CHANCE?

The league is still young but a trend is fast forming. We can start to identify the contenders, pretenders and participants.

Manchester City look like they are not going to surrender the title easily. They conceded many goals for a champion last season. They knew the problem and responded to it appropriately. They have signed Fernando and Mangala to make them solid at the back and in the midfield. They never responded to a mosquito’s bite with a hammer. They look like the team to beat.

Chelsea comes in second. They are good from the post right through the attacking midfield. Their only problem is that they lack depth in the striking department. With Diego Costa they have got a gem but apart from him there isn’t any striker of worth.

Drogba is past his best days and is just a substitute who can contribute ten goals at most. He is there to prevent Costa from suffering burn out. Torres seems lost and may leave before the window closes. He should be moved quickly and either Mattia Destro or Loic Remy brought in. I would have preferred Cavani but Financial Fair Play seems an obstacle. With two good strikers and a backup in Drogba,Chelsea would be up there with City.

Arsenal can finally challenge for top three. They have the squad to do it. Their problem is a lack of a proven striker. Let them spend on a 20 plus goals striker and they will take the battle to the wire. Wenger needs to stop being hype man of transfer windows. Let him not promote players for other teams and be decisive.

Liverpool will feel the departure of Suarez hard to replace. He made sure Liverpool were fighting right to the end. Fighting on four fronts will also take a toll on Liverpool as their squad is not that big. They also lack bench power and have no experienced players made for such fights. The squad is very young with experience only coming from Gerard. I do not see them repeating the previous season performance.

Manchester United have a great squad. They have the bench power and experience galore. To make matters easier, they will only be concentrating on the league and FA Cup after being knocked out of Capital One Cup already. They will pose a serious challenge once they hit the ground running.

Manchester City and Chelsea with another striker to support Costa will decide between themselves who takes the title. Arsenal and Manchester United will be pretenders to the throne. Liverpool, Tottenham and Everton will be awarded with certificates of participation.

Let the rumble continue as we look to separate men from boys.

THE REPORT

Nyanza leading in the number of new HIV infections came as no surprise to those who have been in Kenya for the past 30 years. The areas highlighted seem to have some four common factors.

These four factors have contributed almost entirely to this damning report. Chiefly among them is the lake and activities going around it. Lake Victoria has been a source of economic livelihood to many in Nyanza. At the same time it has swallowed many of our youths in its expanse.

Most of those working in the lake are school drop outs. They do not know how to manage money they get. They see it as what should be spent on wooing girls in school and widows. They do not care about protected sex as they lack the rational mind to argue against such behaviour.

Widowed women who have no source of livelihood find solace in these shores. They have nothing to lose and so go to the shores to waylay the young men for easy cash. They engage in wanton sex in the name of you only live once. This has made the virus to hit hard places like Homa Bay, Sori Bay, Kisumu, Muhuru Bay and Siaya.

The second factor is wife inheritance. Most deaths to young couples have been because of AIDS. When such a widow is inherited with a supposedly healthy man the virus finds a conduit to spread further. These men also have other young girls on the side on the side who they engage in sex with without protection. This takes the spread out of hand.

We have assumed that wife inheritance was a past culture but it is still going on. It is being done in secrecy and it continues to swallow the unsuspecting of our generation. The reality is that this practice is on the rise and if not stopped we will soon be back to the past.

The third factor is the introduction of Voluntary Male Medical Circumcision (VMMC). Since this campaign started cases of new HIV infections have been on the rise. The campaign was sold wrongly. The youths thought that with circumcision they got the cure for AIDS. They engage in sex without using protection in the name of being circumcised. Cases of reckless sex have risen rapidly.

The fourth factor is the waning level of education. There is a direct relationship between low level of education and rising infection rates. Nyanza used to be a powerhouse in academics until some years back. There has been a lack of emphasis and importance attached to education of late and the results has been a large pool of drop outs and low school enrollment rates. Many youths are not going to school while those who go most do not go beyond class eight. This has made the fight against the spread of this virus very hard. Idle youths use sex as a leisure activity.

Let us enlighten the village folks of the bad cultural practices that should be left behind such as wife inheritance. Our leaders should also give education precedence so that idle youths are engaged. Lastly, we should repackage the VMMC campaign so that it does not seem to send out the wrong message. Circumcision is just a preventive measure and not a cure for HIV/AIDS.

LONG LIVE THE KING

LONG LIVE THE KING

Built tall, brown and with a sharp boyish look. He had the school on his feet literally. That is man Njoro in a nutshell. He was master at his trade and a genius in execution of his plans. Man Njoro had that humble but confident demeanor to himself. He was a full package -- nothing more, nothing less. He was a man of the people; an example of what not to aspire to be in life.

We were with him in the same class in college. He was nick named ‘di member’ a Kikuyu word meaning a member in. He was a back bencher and this is what earned him the nick name. To make matters worse, he also used to arrive late in class. The lecturer would always tease him calling him assistant lecturer. He had all the characteristics of a typical Kenyan member of parliament.

He was not bothered at all. He had that “I do not care” attitude. Nothing really mattered to him much. He used to have a single exercise book of 80 pages for the seven units we did every semester. He would fill a half of the book with notes at the end of the semester. That was like a huge achievement to him – a whole 40 pages!

He was a serial examination cheat. He was the type who would turn into Lil Wayne during examination. He had no tattoos as Wayne has but his body was turned into a canvas of writings popularly known as ‘mwakenya’ in academic lingua franca. His brown complexion made the work easier. Maybe he was an inspiration to Vera Sidika to go white considering she is still a student.

Man Njoro always boasted that he had the support from the Almighty. We asked him how. The response was philosophical to say the least. He always said his height was not in vain. His long neck was not a biological malfunction but had a purpose to play. And that he was putting it to its proper use.

He had no naked eye. His eyes were microscopic and the neck was malleable. He could see even the smallest of writings from three meters away. His neck could twist and turn in line of duty. He was so confident while stealing that lecturers never suspected him even once. Results would come back and he was among the top performers.

He would be proud and would say that he was confirms his answers before writing them down. That is when credibility of his grades was challenged. He would advice fellow students to confirm before writing and never submit answers they doubt.

Man Njoro is now a manager at a top school in Nairobi. Long live the king. A hall has his name inscribed on its walls – MAN NJORO WAS HERE.

CUPID MATTERS

MY TAKE ON CUPID

When push turns to shove, we are forced to swallow the bitterest pill- quit or end your life. Have you ever taken your time to wonder why it is always this? A famous Nigerian musician once sang “do not get it twisted, love is a beautiful thing.” Maybe he was direct from the lovers’ school but many will vehemently disagree with him.

Love is like a double-edged arrow that is hard to remove after piercing the heart. If you dare do, you are finished. Is this why most end their lives after being struck by cupid’s arrow? Or is it just infatuation gone sour? The rate of divorce has skyrocketed and broken homes are one of the trends in the country. These things were just read on a newspaper or told by those were conversant with the ways of wazungu.

What happened to the happily ever vows that our grandparents adhered to like religion? What has weakened our morals to the point of irreversible collapse? Many will blame it on globalization and widespread use of technology, but do we take time to look at the man or woman on the mirror? We are the perpetuators of this trend – the mantra of “you only love me when I get a dime or if I am beautiful.”

Maybe I am old school but I think the rot starts with you. Do not look for a scapegoat. Some people told us that choices have consequences. They were right but often we do not give a damn to such wise words.

When you choose a girl to date what do you look for? Is it technology or globalization guiding you? A definite NO. Do you take your time to do some research on this beauty to know what you starting? Most of the time we plunge head first and fast into relationships. We are enticed by outer beauty rather than character. Little do we know that beauty is momentary and relative-it depends on the state of the mind at the time. Character on the other hand is silent but enduring.

Most youths of today will tell you how a lady is beautiful or how a man is handsome. They rarely mention how the said lady or man is of good morals. We always judge by the eye and not logic.

My grandmother always tells me to go for a lady with respect and a big heart. Do not worry for beauty; it will come crawling to its place.  A beautiful lady or handsome man is a public property. Only noticed when one is tipsy but change the moment you come back to your senses.

A woman with respect will respect her body, you and your family. A woman with a big heart will welcome visitors as if they were you. She treats everybody with respect and knows her boundaries. A man with respect, respects his lady, treats her like a precious inheritance. He cannot think of hurting her. He is her friend and the reverse is also true. He respects your friends and sees them not as sex objects. These two are the basic foundation of a lasting relationship.

What happens when one’s beauty is gone? You start looking for a better one, right? With respect and big heart, they are inborn or nurtured by parents who value morality. They are forever and ever present. TAKE A HARD LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND DECIDE WHAT YOU LOOKING FOR. AS FOR ME IT IS RESPECT AND BIG HEART, THE REST ARE ADDED ADVANTAGE.