LONG LIVE THE KING

LONG LIVE THE KING

Built tall, brown and with a sharp boyish look. He had the school on his feet literally. That is man Njoro in a nutshell. He was master at his trade and a genius in execution of his plans. Man Njoro had that humble but confident demeanor to himself. He was a full package -- nothing more, nothing less. He was a man of the people; an example of what not to aspire to be in life.

We were with him in the same class in college. He was nick named ‘di member’ a Kikuyu word meaning a member in. He was a back bencher and this is what earned him the nick name. To make matters worse, he also used to arrive late in class. The lecturer would always tease him calling him assistant lecturer. He had all the characteristics of a typical Kenyan member of parliament.

He was not bothered at all. He had that “I do not care” attitude. Nothing really mattered to him much. He used to have a single exercise book of 80 pages for the seven units we did every semester. He would fill a half of the book with notes at the end of the semester. That was like a huge achievement to him – a whole 40 pages!

He was a serial examination cheat. He was the type who would turn into Lil Wayne during examination. He had no tattoos as Wayne has but his body was turned into a canvas of writings popularly known as ‘mwakenya’ in academic lingua franca. His brown complexion made the work easier. Maybe he was an inspiration to Vera Sidika to go white considering she is still a student.

Man Njoro always boasted that he had the support from the Almighty. We asked him how. The response was philosophical to say the least. He always said his height was not in vain. His long neck was not a biological malfunction but had a purpose to play. And that he was putting it to its proper use.

He had no naked eye. His eyes were microscopic and the neck was malleable. He could see even the smallest of writings from three meters away. His neck could twist and turn in line of duty. He was so confident while stealing that lecturers never suspected him even once. Results would come back and he was among the top performers.

He would be proud and would say that he was confirms his answers before writing them down. That is when credibility of his grades was challenged. He would advice fellow students to confirm before writing and never submit answers they doubt.

Man Njoro is now a manager at a top school in Nairobi. Long live the king. A hall has his name inscribed on its walls – MAN NJORO WAS HERE.